your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
are you so shy because you have an std?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
