you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
