addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
