You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
