So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
