why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
