oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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