Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
