His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
