i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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