so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
