oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
