The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
