So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
