im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
