Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
