If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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