how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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