im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
