I just saw a hot homeless man
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
