This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
