1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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