Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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