But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
