Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
