No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
