i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
