You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
so explain again why im purple
no
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
