so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize