The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
