Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
