This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think people are normalizing furries
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
