YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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