i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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