I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
