I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
