But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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