Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
