I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
