I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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