I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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