I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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