your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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