woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
