i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
