I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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