is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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