if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
