:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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