I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
