she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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