i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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