I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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