I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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