is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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