i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
