I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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