Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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