I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I didn't notice because vodka
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize