Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
