hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
