making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
