Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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