ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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