You work out of a Hotel?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
