at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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